Rejection while Parenting Special Needs
A little while ago I wrote a post to tackle the erroneous thought processes that comes into our mind, clouds our judgement to make us believe that our identity is in our child’s disability. It’s a subtle slide that we ride on which slowly takes our emotional stability and dumps us at the end of the ride, on our rear-end covered in proverbial mud from which we cannot seem to clean ourselves. You can read that blog by clicking here.
Today, I would like to take another step in the process of ‘getting your life back’ in the midst of parenting a child with special needs.
We’ve all been in a public situation where we have felt the sting of onlookers toward our child or in a conversation where we have received rejection because of a decision that we have made for our family and child with special needs. We have all been on the receiving end of rejection…and it hurts.
Why does it hurt? It’s really quite simple when you think about it… as humans we are relational. We were made to enjoy friendships. And when that cycle of mutual communication is abruptly broken, we are emotionally lost and assume that it is because of our action/s we are being rejected.
What does this rejection do to us? I am sure you have been in this situation and struggle to rationalize the thoughts…but emotional rejection can easily cause a mental paralysis. It’s almost as if we don’t know how to view the world any longer.
Questions that run through our minds try to answer:
- What did I do?
- What did I say?
- How can I fix it?
And we continue this emotional gymnastics routine until we reach complete exhaustion.
Let’s change that… I’m pretty sure that you do not want to live in this state of defeat, but rather know that you have freedom to make decisions and be free of rejection and guilt ‘imposed’ by others.
Let’s be encouraged by 2 simple thoughts that will bring a reality to this ongoing emotional dilemma.
- Do NOT give other people the power over your value and worth. Honestly! Take it back! Other people do not have the authority or ability to make ‘value’ decisions for you and/or judgements about you. The truth is, other people don’t see what it’s like to live with a child with special needs. People who may impose a rejection towards you will never realize that a successful day is getting your child dressed properly and on the school bus…a bonus is if you are able to get a shower! Be encouraged. If you have received rejection from someone who has never walked in your shoes … well … the truth is their rejection is baseless.
- Remember that God establishes our worth. Oh man, there is so much in the Bible that shouts loud and clear the worth that God has given to you. Let’s just look at a few…
- Colossians 2:10, “and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority.” (NASB)
- Romans 5:8, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. (ESV)
- Luke 12:6-7, “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (ESV)
- Genesis 1:27-28, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. …”(ESV)
And Probably my favorite…
- Romans 8:1-2, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”
Be Encouraged! Your worth is not based on the views of other humans on this earth. Your value comes innately from your Creator himself, who is God.
How should this affect your daily walk and talk? It should provide a release; a freedom; a breath of fresh air that will allow you to put your shoulders square and live YOUR life however you believe God wants you to live. At the end of the day, you are only accountable to God for the decisions that you make…no one else. Therefore, don’t let the mud of other people’s judgement of you, your family, your child with special needs stick.
P.S. If this has been an encouragement, I’d love to hear from you … email or leave a comment.