Your marriage is more important than your child’s disability.
Yep. I said it. I know it might come as a little harsh as you read it in your mind but I believe it to be the truth. Stay with this article through to the end and I hope you can agree.
As parents who have children with disabilities, we subconsciously create a coping mechanism I like to call, “Mess with my kid and I’ll kill you” attitude. We are really good at keeping it just under the surface like a stealth bomb and God help the poor soul we unleash this toward. We keep this weapon this ready for school meetings, trips to the store, advocacy events and sometimes even unsuspecting people who have never heard that they shouldn’t use the ‘R’ word.
I’d like to submit that we, as spouses, can even hold this weapon toward our spouses for a decision that they made that we felt was not right for our child. However, let’s take a step back and survey the battle ground. In most marriages (I wish I could say all), both the husband and wife are ‘well-intentioned’ in their decision making to all our kids and try, as best as we can, to train and disciple each child to build their strengths and weaknesses so that they can ultimately serve God as He has planned for them. We try not to play favorites even though the ‘time’ that Jack seems to consume is usually more than our other kids.
This week I would like to encourage you with a few Bible verses from Ephesians chapters 4 and 5.
- Ephesians 5:25 – Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her…
- Ephesians 5:28 – In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
- Ephesians 5:22 – Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
- Ephesians 4:2-3 – Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.
The reality is that I cannot improve on the Truth that comes from God’s word. When we focus on our marriage to ensure emotional and spiritual security then we actually become more effective team players to parent our children in a way that is pleasing to God and beneficial to our children.